1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,000 When I talk to you I tell you what you have to teach your kids 2 00:00:04,140 --> 00:00:05,640 and how you do it. 3 00:00:05,780 --> 00:00:09,760 I wanted my kid to be a thinking kid, okay? 4 00:00:09,900 --> 00:00:11,564 (I'm using old language) 5 00:00:11,700 --> 00:00:14,000 I wanted my kid to be creative 6 00:00:14,140 --> 00:00:17,601 so I have to ask the question "What is creativity?" 7 00:00:17,741 --> 00:00:20,550 If I don't know, I can't make my kid creative 8 00:00:20,650 --> 00:00:22,779 so here's how I did it. 9 00:00:22,919 --> 00:00:27,167 In the beginning, he came to me when he was four years old 10 00:00:27,307 --> 00:00:31,000 and he said "Daddy, the wheel came off my toy car." 11 00:00:31,140 --> 00:00:35,039 I said "So it did," then I threw it in the garbage 12 00:00:35,139 --> 00:00:36,639 and read my book 13 00:00:36,779 --> 00:00:38,279 and I'm watching him 14 00:00:38,379 --> 00:00:42,576 that lower lip, pouting 15 00:00:42,716 --> 00:00:45,511 and I said "What's the matter?" He said "You threw it away!" 16 00:00:45,751 --> 00:00:50,000 I said "I'll get you baby toys where the wheels don't come off." 17 00:00:50,140 --> 00:00:52,361 He says "Well, maybe I can fix it." 18 00:00:52,500 --> 00:00:54,962 I reached for the toy and gave it to him. 19 00:00:55,100 --> 00:00:58,150 He's sitting on the couch trying to get the wheel on 20 00:00:58,290 --> 00:00:59,860 then he gets it on 21 00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:03,130 in just a few minutes. 22 00:01:03,270 --> 00:01:06,750 Then I picked him up and put him on my lap 23 00:01:06,890 --> 00:01:10,147 and said "That's wonderful! How did you do that?" 24 00:01:10,287 --> 00:01:12,287 He said "I'm not that little!" 25 00:01:12,387 --> 00:01:14,387 I said "But, how did you do it?" 26 00:01:14,487 --> 00:01:16,487 He says "[You see] that wire sticking up?" "Yeah." 27 00:01:16,587 --> 00:01:18,750 "You see the hole in the wheels?" 28 00:01:18,850 --> 00:01:20,850 He didn't even know what they're called. 29 00:01:20,950 --> 00:01:24,300 "I pushed on the hole, and pushed and pushed, and it went on." 30 00:01:24,400 --> 00:01:26,400 I said "That's marvelous." 31 00:01:26,500 --> 00:01:28,600 When you say "Here, let daddy fix it for you. 32 00:01:28,700 --> 00:01:31,371 Let daddy do this. Let mommy do that." 33 00:01:31,500 --> 00:01:35,480 [Then] you produce a big blob that does no thinking at all. 34 00:01:35,580 --> 00:01:37,200 So put your kids... 35 00:01:37,300 --> 00:01:39,300 I used to come running in the house 36 00:01:39,400 --> 00:01:41,800 to my little girl [and] say "What did you bring me?" 37 00:01:41,940 --> 00:01:44,400 She said "I didn't bring you anything. I'm too little." 38 00:01:44,540 --> 00:01:48,000 Kids are always thinking in terms of you bringing them something 39 00:01:48,140 --> 00:01:52,919 so when my little girl was three, she came in the shop 40 00:01:53,059 --> 00:01:56,350 and I put a wrench on the nut the wrong way. 41 00:01:56,450 --> 00:01:58,352 You know what that means? 42 00:01:58,492 --> 00:02:01,488 A wrench on a nut the wrong way? 43 00:02:01,628 --> 00:02:04,970 A nut... A wrench is a [???] 44 00:02:05,110 --> 00:02:09,000 And I put it on... Then I put it on the wrong way again. 45 00:02:09,140 --> 00:02:11,936 She's watching me. It's so obvious. 46 00:02:12,076 --> 00:02:15,302 She puts little hands on it. "That's no way to do it." 47 00:02:15,442 --> 00:02:18,639 I said "Is this all right?" The wrong way again, nothing works. 48 00:02:18,779 --> 00:02:22,362 "I'll have to show you." She put the wrench on the right way. 49 00:02:22,462 --> 00:02:25,000 I did that so she wouldn't look up to me. 50 00:02:25,100 --> 00:02:29,000 "Daddy knows everything." Sometimes he doesn't know anything. 51 00:02:29,140 --> 00:02:32,200 I used to come to my kids and ask them questions about... 52 00:02:32,340 --> 00:02:34,800 "I can't get this door on. What do you suggest?" 53 00:02:34,900 --> 00:02:36,400 "Well, I'm little 54 00:02:36,500 --> 00:02:39,900 but I think if you put a piece of wood under the door 55 00:02:40,000 --> 00:02:42,000 to lift up to match the hinges." 56 00:02:42,100 --> 00:02:44,100 Just put them in a situation. 57 00:02:44,200 --> 00:02:47,100 Kids of the future will be given responsibilities 58 00:02:47,240 --> 00:02:50,100 and they'll manage their own affairs. 59 00:02:50,240 --> 00:02:52,873 One kid, when he goes into the woods 60 00:02:52,973 --> 00:02:56,700 knows a lot about marine life in the stream. 61 00:02:56,800 --> 00:03:00,860 Another kid knows plants. Another kid knows clouds. 62 00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:04,529 Each kid takes a turn at leadership. 63 00:03:04,669 --> 00:03:07,385 You have no permanent leader. 64 00:03:07,485 --> 00:03:11,124 If you rotate the leadership, it's better for the kids. Bingo. 65 00:03:11,264 --> 00:03:13,564 Do you understand that? 66 00:03:13,704 --> 00:03:15,404 I don't want to be a leader. 67 00:03:15,504 --> 00:03:19,158 I want to give you tools to think things. 68 00:03:19,298 --> 00:03:21,668 You have to work on other people now. 69 00:03:21,808 --> 00:03:24,571 What if a guy doesn't want to go along with you? 70 00:03:24,711 --> 00:03:27,029 Just say "I don't know how to reach that guy." 71 00:03:27,129 --> 00:03:28,629 That's what it means. 72 00:03:28,729 --> 00:03:32,100 See? You can call him names, say he's dumb or is a ... 73 00:03:32,200 --> 00:03:34,200 Just say "I don't know how to reach him." 74 00:03:34,340 --> 00:03:37,750 When I meet with people, if I can't reach them 75 00:03:37,850 --> 00:03:39,850 I come at them another way. 76 00:03:39,990 --> 00:03:42,122 If that doesn't work, I try another way 77 00:03:42,250 --> 00:03:44,258 and I come back next week with a different way. 78 00:03:44,398 --> 00:03:48,800 When I used reason with my mother and a Japanese kid 79 00:03:48,940 --> 00:03:51,800 it didn't work. 80 00:03:51,940 --> 00:03:53,940 Reason and logic does not change people. 81 00:03:54,080 --> 00:04:00,000 What changes people is your ability to reach them on their terms.